


Trusting Our Hearts, Learning from Our Past

by BeanieJedi33



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 13x12, 13x12 Coda, Angst, Cas has good self-esteem, Dean and Cas talk about their feelings, Dean and Cas talk it out, Dean going to rescue Cas, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions of Stabbing, Protective Dean Winchester, Worried!Dean, Worry, but nothing graphic, cas stands up for himself, fluff too, s13, sassy!Cas, season 13, they deal with their crap and emotions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-04
Updated: 2018-02-04
Packaged: 2019-03-13 16:47:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,307
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13574757
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeanieJedi33/pseuds/BeanieJedi33
Summary: 13x12 Coda where Dean rescues Cas from prison. What I wished had happen in 13x12





	Trusting Our Hearts, Learning from Our Past

Dean was lying on his bed in total darkness. His beer bottle was sitting on the table next his bed, long since been emptied. After his talk in the kitchen with Sam, he headed to him room to spend some time alone. He couldn’t help feel like something was off. Something was telling to call Cas again. He thought Cas had been fine, but for some reason, Dean just felt something in his gut, that he just couldn’t ignore. Dean picked up the phone, and call Cas, several times. Each time, there was no answer. Dean knew something was wrong, now. But he felt helpless. Even if Cas was in trouble, he wouldn’t even know where to start. So, he just laid on his bed, feeling angry and useless.

He hated that Cas left to look for Jack without him, instead of staying with him and Sam, so they could all look together. Dean’s mind began to race as he laid on his bed, _Why couldn’t Cas understand that they were just better together. That they would all, together, as a team, find Jack. Did Cas not trust them after all these years? Cas just got back, before he left again. Did he just not want to be with Dean? Was he so anxious to leave? And now, who knows where he is?_

Dean was worrying, and starting to get scared. He didn’t deal well with either of those two things. Dean knew this. He knew his anger, was just his way of not dealing with worry. One of his skills he’d acquired in his many years of hunting.

About an hour later, Dean had enough. He wasn’t just going to sit by here, when he thought Cas could be in trouble. He knew he had to follow this gut-feeling he had to go find Cas. Sam was in his room, asleep, which was fine, because he wasn’t in the mood to have Sam question him. He just wanted to do this for Cas. He threw some clothes, a couple knives, a couple guns, some amno, and a first aid kit into a duffle bag, and quietly left his room. He made his way into the main room of the bunker to grab his laptop and write a note to Sam, so he wouldn’t get worried.

Dean made his way to the garage, jumped in the impala, and drove off. After driving for half an hour, he realized he had no leads and no direction. Dean eventually got the idea to track Cas’ phone. He pulled out his phone, and tried to use the GPS on Cas’ phone to locate him. He wondered why he hadn’t thought of this before. As soon as the location popped up, Dean floored the impala and drove to get him.

 _What the Hell is Cas doing there? Why’s he where Crowley had Hell? Is he making a deal with someone? No, he wouldn’t do that. What if he’s been taken there? What if he’s been trapped there this whole time?_ Dean was panicking as all possibilities of why Cas was there flashed through his mind. 

He parked about a half a mile away, and got out, angel blade in his hand. Dean charged in, determined to find Cas. He noticed a couple of demons by the entrance, and killed them both, quickly, before advancing. He continued his search for Cas. He ran all over what was Crowley’s little version of Hell, killing every demon in his path to get to his angel. He searched every room, every prison cell, and came up empty every time. Dean was getting more worried each time he came up empty. He covered that worry with angry, and let his hunter instincts take over. He raced up and long, endless corridors in search of Cas. He would find him. He wasn’t going to let Cas down.

He eventually came to a room, where two cells were open, and many demons were dead on the floor, dead, eyes burned out. 

_Maybe Cas was here. But where the Hell is he now?_

Just then, two more demons entered the hall, talking. Dean hid around the wall, so he could eavesdrop on their conversation. 

“Asmodeus is not going to be happy when he finds out about this,” the one demon said, very worried.

“I know. And I can’t believe that miserable excuse for an angel, Castiel, escaped with Lucifer. I mean how could they have done it?” the other demon replied.

“I don’t know, but I know we must find them quickly,”

Dean was relieved to know Cas escaped, but what was he doing with Lucifer? Dean was now struggling to control his emotions, so he did the only thing he knew how to do when it comes to emotions. He ignored them, and the ones he couldn’t ignore, he turned to anger, so he wouldn’t break down. He needed to find Cas, so took out his phone, and tracked Cas’. It looks like he was near where he parked the impala. He must’ve just escaped.

Dean ran out as quickly and quietly as he could. He ran through the halls, unnoticed, and out into the sunlight, and ran to get Cas. He saw Cas talking with Lucifer, and his blood ran cold.

 _C’mon, Cas, not another, deal. You’re better than this. You’re more than this,_ Dean thought.

“This is me, learning from my mistakes,” Cas said as he stabbed him.

Dean stopped dead in his tracks. Cas just killed Lucifer. He wasn’t making a deal. He just killed him. Dean had no idea what to think.

When Lucifer’s body collapsed, Cas looked and saw Dean standing a couple hundred feet away. Cas bolted towards him, stunned and confused.

When Cas reached Dean, he still couldn’t believe it, “Dean what are you doing here?”

“Cas, oh, I’m so glad you’re okay,” Dean said, as he wrapped his arms around Cas, and pulled him into a tight hug, and tried to bury his face in Cas’ shoulder, so he couldn’t see the tears starting to well up in his eyes. He was so relieved to have found Cas.

Cas returned the hug, still stunned that Dean was here. He couldn’t believe Dean went looking for him. 

They broke apart, and were both just staring at each other.

“Dean why are-“ Cas started, but was cut off by Dean.

“Looking for you, Cas. Something seemed wrong, so I followed my instincts, and tracked your phone to here. I searched every room and cell, killing every demon I saw, trying to find you, Cas. I got worried when I couldn’t find you, but I overheard a couple of demons talking about you escaping with Lucifer, so I left and tracked you to here. Cas, what are you doing with Lucifer?”

“It’s a long story. I’ll tell you, but let’s get out of here first,” Cas said.

“Right. C’mon, the impala is right over here,” Dean said leading Cas to the impala.

They got in and drove away quickly before anyone could catch up to them.

“So, you wanna tell me what you were doing with Lucifer?” Dean finally asked Cas, breaking the silence.

“Look, Dean it’s not what you think,” Cas started.

“Oh, really? So, you mean you didn’t just leave me and Sam, to go make a deal with him. Cas, I thought we talked about this. I thought we learned that doing things together as a team is better than sneaking around making deals. What the Hell, man?” Dean was getting angry letting all his emotions out.

“Dean! If you would just let me explain,” Cas paused before starting his story, “Look, Dean I didn’t make a deal with him. I mean you saw me kill him. Now, does that look like something I would do if I made a deal with him?” Cas asked, starting to get sassy now.

“No, but Cas, what were you doing with him? And why did you leave so quickly after you just came back. That hurt, Cas,”

“Dean, I left to go find, Jack,”

“I know that, Cas, but why’d you have to go yourself. I told you that we’re better together. And instead you go off on your own, again. I mean, did you not believe me? Did you not trust us? Did you not trust me? What is it that every time you come back, the next thing you do is run from me, Cas? Was I not good enough for you? I mean everyone leaves at some point, I was just hoping you wouldn’t,” Dean said, anger leaving him, and his hurt and worry starting to come to the surface.

“Dean, no it’s none of that. I trust you Dean, you and Sam. And you _are_ good enough, Dean. Don’t ever think otherwise. It’s just, I promised Kelly I’d protect Jack. I feel responsible for him. I knew I had to go after him. And after failing so many times, I just wanted to do this one thing right. I couldn’t bear the thought of failing Jack or Kelly, Dean. I had to do this, Dean. It has nothing to do with not trusting you or Sam, or not wanting to be with you, Dean. I gave up my own angelic kin to be with you, Dean. I love being with you and Sam, and I will always come back to you. You two are my family, and you both mean everything to me, but my leaving had nothing to do with you, Dean. It’s about me, needing to do something on my own, for myself,”

Dean thought about what Cas had said, and he got it. He knows what it feels like to fail someone, and not wanting to do it again. He knows how badly it feels to just do something right, and get something right. He understands the need to protect someone close to you. He knew what Cas was going through, he wasn’t mad, any more.

“And, about Lucifer,” Cas continued, “He found me when I was looking for Jack. He wanted information and for me to help him. I refused. Then Asmodeus came and took us. Me and Lucifer teamed up to escape, but that’s all Dean. He wanted me to make another deal, but I told him I’ve learned from my mistakes, and I stabbed him. And that’s all there is, Dean. I promise,”

Dean was so relieved Cas didn’t make any deals, “I’m proud of you, Cas. I really am. You saved yourself, Hell you didn’t even need me. You stabbed Lucifer, and didn’t fall for his crap. I really am proud, Cas” Dean told Cas, as he looked over at him.

“Thank you, Dean,”

“I get it Cas. I mean, how you felt, and why you went looking for Jack alone. It’s just, I was worried. You had just gotten back and then you left. I was scared, Cas. I was scared to lose you. I mean I still am, Cas, you’re my family. And I just want to make sure of that. I was scared you’d made a deal, because you didn’t think you belong or because you thought you weren’t good enough. I just want you to know, you’re incredible Cas, and you belong with us, Cas. And I was just scared, I guess of losing you, because you never knew that. I don’t deal with my emotions well, and I know that, and I know sometimes we have a history of not talking or going behinds each other’s backs and doing dumb things, and I was scared that was going to happen again, Cas. Look, I know we have a lot to deal with, but why don’t we just start with talking more and not doing things behind each other’s back, and doing more things, together, as a team.

“Thank you, Dean. I know you care about me. I know that now. Before, I didn’t. I felt like I wasn’t good enough or I didn’t belong. But I see now, Dean, that I am good enough, and that I do belong. I belong with you. And Sam. I like that idea of us talking more and not hiding things, Dean. And I know you don’t deal with emotions well or think of yourself, but maybe that’s another thing for us to work on. I see you has the bravest human I’ve ever met, I think you should start seeing yourself that way,” Cas said.

Dean was so proud of Cas for the way he’d changed. But, Dean kne he had one more thing to get off his chest, “And while we’re getting things off our chest, Cas, there is one more thing I need to get off mine,” Dean paused, knowing he wasn’t going to make another mistake, and not tell Cas what he’d been wanting to for years, “Look, Cas, when I was looking for you, I was so scared and so worried about you. That’s not something I do well with. I was scared I might have lost you again. You and Sam, and Jack, are some of the only things I have left, Cas. I can’t lose you, Cas. And I just need you to know one thing, Cas. I love you, Cas. I really do. And not like I love Sam. I just, wanted you to know that, Cas,”

Cas was shocked, “I love you, too Dean,” and Cas, still feeling brave after dealing with Lucifer, leaned over and kissed Dean. Dean stopped the impala, and pulled over, so he could wrap his arms around Cas and kiss him properly. They kissed, and reveled in finally being together, after years of pining and heartbreak. They enjoyed, being happy in that moment. This is what happens when you trust your heart, and learn from your past.

**Author's Note:**

> So, I decided to have Dean rescue Cas, but I still wanted to have Cas save himself and stab Lucifer, because I love that character development. I saw lots of posts on Twitter and Tumblr that talk about Dean's emotions, especially related to these scenes, that I'm sure you all have seen, so I tried to incorporate those and my own idea with how Dean was feeling, and how I thought Dean would feel. He gets worried about Cas leaving, and he doesn't deal well with that, so he turns it into anger, to avoid dealing with those emotions. I also wanted to make sure Cas had his emotions addressed too.
> 
> My Twitter: Beaniejedi33 Instagram: Beaniejedi33photo


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